Doulas are for Dads Too!
We all know that a doula’s first course of action in a birth space is to support their client - the person actually giving birth. Doulas work collaboratively with partners to provide comprehensive support during childbirth for the birthing person. However, it’s a common misconception that we aren’t also there to support the nervous first time dads or the partners that are regretting all of their life decisions every time the love of their life screams that this (the pain of labor and delivery) is their fault. We want birth to be a safe, exciting, welcoming experience for the whole family, NOT just our clients.
Some dads are uncomfortable in hospital settings or with the sight of blood, and it can be challenging to see their partner in major discomfort or pain. There’s also the real worry that all the plans you made will go out the window and scary complications will happen. Partners often find the presence of a birth doula comforting and empowering. Here are a few ways doulas can help support partners during labor and delivery:
Education and preparation: Whenever possible, birth doulas meet with both parents during prenatal visits to provide education about the birth process, comfort measures, and various options available. This helps partners feel more informed and involved in the birthing experience
Emotional support: Doulas can offer emotional support to both the birthing person and her partner throughout the labor and birth. They provide reassurance, encouragement, and a calming presence to help partners feel more confident and relaxed.
Assistance and guidance: Many partners find they want to support but may not intuitively know how - birth doulas can guide partners on ways to support the birthing person during labor, including the hours of early labor when contractions have started but are not yet close enough to head to the hospital. Support can include suggesting comfort measures, such as massage techniques, position changes, and breathing exercises. Doulas can also offer guidance on providing verbal encouragement and being an active participant in the birth experience.
Breaks and self-care: Birth can be physically and emotionally demanding for partners. Doulas can provide temporary relief and encourage partners to take breaks, rest, and engage in self-care. This ensures that partners have the energy and support they need to be fully present during critical moments.
Advocacy and communication: Doulas can help partners communicate with the medical team, ensuring that their questions are addressed and their wishes are conveyed effectively. They can also help partners advocate for the mother's preferences, ensuring her voice is heard during the birthing process.
Collaboration and teamwork: Doulas work as part of a team with partners and healthcare providers. They respect and support the partner's role, acknowledging their unique connection and relationship with their client. Doulas aim to complement and enhance the partner's involvement rather than replace it.
Doulas do not want to replace dads, we want to work with them to ensure labor and delivery is as smooth as possible for everyone involved. Ready to hire a doula to support you AND your partner through birth? We’d love to help!
